Tuesday, March 6, 2007

Testimony Theorization

You know what's bad? Wondering if you have a Testimony.

Compared to other people, you may say I don't. I've never giving my testimony (ok, in seminary, but that might have been a spiritual form of peer pressure). And I hardly show any physical emotional outbursts in church, or any church related activity. But I have a Testimony.

It seems to me, that we have this idea that a Testimony has to be 'perfect.'
There have to be certain steps, certain processes that we have to go through, before we can call our Testimony real.
It's done unconsciously of course. I think one of the problems with this, is that we as humans have a need to express ourselves to others (says the blog-addicted girl...). We always need to explain to people WHAT exactly things are like. And I think, one starts to question their [in this case] Testimony, if it doesn't match up to the dominant example.
I think, that if one has a Testimony, that there is no possible way to express this through words. After all, a Testimony, to me, is a very spiritual manifestation, projected through our actions here on Earth. And then we must always keep in mind that we are humans, and far from perfect.
That's why people cry. Happiness makes you cry. But, there are always those few people who don't cry. Who are just...different. Just like the people who do cry.

I know I have a Testimony. I know I do. I may not be perfect, but I know I have a Testimony. And I may not have all the knowledge I need. I may not know all the things I need to know. But the things that I do know, I have faith in.

3 comments:

eledezma said...

Elleneskes, this is great. In a way that was your testimony, you don't need to cry to make your testimony perfect, your testimony is the knowledge that YOU have about a subject, it might be at a different level than a nonmember or an inactive or the prophet, but it's still YOUR testimony, and it doesn't make it any less.

Allisoncita said...

if it makes you feel any better, being the ninny who cries is, as a rule, more embarassing that it is edifying...

and guess what?

having your testimony your way is the way it should be. it's great to get up and throw a few halelujahs now and again, but it shows that you're really in touch with your own spirituality to know that you don't have to be the ninny with mascara running down your face to feel what you're feeling.

rock on, meine leiblingsfreund!

Ellen said...

aaaww!!! thanks guys!!

crap...you almost made me cry!

ok, so not really... :-)