Saturday, May 19, 2007

Vespa Man

Being the responsible college students that we are, some friends, Mi, AS, Ma and I, decided to buy an ice cream, and eat it on the steps of the St. Loup Cathedral. All was peaceful, when this rather odd looking man approaches us, and starts speaking to us in broken dutch, even though he is Walloon. He apparently has a weak for the Cathedral, and decides to explain his Stone Love to us, all in Flemish.My friend Ma (In french, this is):Ma: We are french speaking, you know (I'm glad she decided to keep my true identity on the down-low).Man: Well, i figured so much, but i like to practice my Flemish! The St. Loup cathedral, my young friends, is one of the most amazing cathedrals around. Seriously! You guys should go to Mass just to enjoy this wonderful cathedral! It really is a shame you don't go to Mass. You should do that more often. Cuz let me guess: You are all baptised in the Catholic Church?US: start looking at each other, wondering if we should text someone to see if they have a ninja they can send us.Man: See! I'm so right! Man, I have such great knowledge of humans!At this point, a woman in a green dress, in her 40's or 50's approaches us, and starts talking to Man. I didn't really quite catch what was being said, since a lot of Belgian French was being thrown in. Mainly, she told him to quit bothering the young people (that would be us) with his crazy talk. She asks Man what his name is and he replies with Arthur.While Green Dress Woman talks to us, and Arthur yells something in French/Italian down the street to the boss of this small Italian restaurant. Truth be told, he was just speaking french, but adding an Italian accent. The only thing i got was that AC Milan made it to the finals of the champion's league.Arthur turns himself back to Green Dress Woman and much to our entertainment they yell at each other, none of which i can repeat, or would want to repeat even if i understood them. Meanwhile, Mi, AS, Ma and I turn to each other, and wonder if this is Candid Camera. Discretely we start to peek around the cathedral, just to see if there is a huge black object that shouldn't be there.Well, Green Dress Woman leaves, and Arthur starts telling us his life story, including his Life Wisdom. He starts telling us about how both of his sons are convicted felons, their crimes ranging from downloading illegal music to stealing cars.His years as a young man follow, including a detailed description about his hair, and how he would let it fly in the wind on his vespa.Arthur: You guys know what a vespa is, right?Arthur: Well, you know what guys, my name isn't really Arthur. It's Frank.Us: Really now?Arthur: Yeah, let me show you my ID card. (and indeed, it is Frank)Arthur/Frank/Vespa Man: Yes, it's very important to have your ID card with you. You need it if you want to buy a Vespa.You know what a vespa is??some more talkVespa Man: Man, I love young people like you guys! you're so friendly, willing to talk to strangers.Us: eeeigh...Vespa Man: What are your ages anyway? What do you do??Us: We're studying Germanic Languages, and he (pointing to Mi) is studying to be a vet.Vespa Man: Oh! that's great! I love young people like you guys! You guys should buy a vespa!You know what a vespa is?After confirming for a 3rd time that we know what a vespa is, he continues with his ramblings, of which i can only pick up on a few things, and one of them was this:Vespa Man:....and those *%$#%* ^&*-^$!##!^** FLEMISH!!!!Good thing I had no problem keeping my mouth shut.Luckily his cellphone rang (all of us a bit surprised that he has social contact), and after rambling a bit more, he sets off to go do whatever.I want thank Mi, AS and Ma that they kept my somewhat controversial identity secret to Vespa Man.

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